How to set your child up for a successful day (this is how you limit morning tantrums)
How would you feel if your morning started like this:
Your children wake up bright and early, full of energy and demands. You’re barely awake yourself, but the day has already begun. Breakfast needs to be prepared, the little ones need to be dressed, and you’re trying to steal a moment to sip your (hot) coffee.
The clock is ticking, and the to-do list in your head feels endless: shower, get dressed (omg, I HAVE NOTHING to wear!!), do makeup & hair, prep snacks, gather backpacks, where are your shoes (?!), pack kids’ spare clothes, global warming, poo explosion (REALLY, you had to do it NOW!!), unload dishwasher, remember shopping list, figure out what’s for dinner, gogogo...
By the time you’ve managed to get everyone dressed, fed, and watered, you’re already running behind schedule.
You grab the backpacks, bags, keys, gulping down the rest of your now cold coffee, ushering your kids through the door "hurry, hurry, lets go, lets gooooo" and dash out of the house.
Wanting to be the star parent that you are, you encourage your kids’ independence and allow your toddler to walk by themselves to the car. Only to notice them doing a u-turn back to the house and throwing themselves (Neymar-style) to the ground, wailing "I don’t want to goooo!"
The frustration begins to dangerously boil over. You feel agitated, almost angry, shouty, and annoyed, teetering on the verge of tears. The atmosphere is tense, and the kids pick up on it, becoming fussy and even more uncooperative. You get to the car with toddler and bags in one hand, tugging the other child with the other hand....The drive to daycare and school is filled with rushed words and stressed silences.
Would you feel:
Empowered? Excited for the day ahead? Ready to embrace opportunity?
Or rather:
Depleted? Guilty after the power struggle? Disappointed with your kids that they do not listen - they NEVER listen...? Disappointed with yourself..?
It is proven that the way you start your day will impact how you approach the rest of that day;
AND
Did you know that your child's first "significant encounter" of the day sets the stage for the rest of their day too?
Meaning, the first experiences they have of the day with an important person in their lives, will determine whether or not they are collaborative, resilient and in a good mood. Or not.
So if you are rushed, stressed, multi-tasking, unfocused - that will rub off on your child too. They will start playing up, "pushing your buttons", throwing tantrums - just to get some attention - and seeing the day through that perspective isn't exactly empowering...
You are probably asking yourself:
"How can I be that rock for my child in the morning and set them up for success?"
You might not like it, but the secret is:
Waking up earlier than the kids and having "me time".
Now, I am no Mary Poppins, but I can tell you that ever since I started consciously and consistently reclaiming my "me time" - making an effort to carve out in my morning:
time for a cold river dip OR 15min of reading OR had a large glass of water OR a stretch OR a hot cup of coffee and journal OR a visualisation activity - I feel like I have already achieved so much in my day.
And then, when my kids wake up and need a hug or a hand-holding in the bathroom - I am ready for them (and not thinking in my mind "why on Earth are you already up - go back to bed, I still need to get ready...!")
It can be so tough, when you are in the trenches, experiencing broken sleep in the night & inconsistent wake-times, but give it a go.
The key is to start taking control of what you can control - your morning "me-time", and showing up as your best super-duper self - so that your kids can also show up as their best selves too.
You are doing amazing.
You have totally got this!
And HAPPY PARENTING!:)
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